The title of the third installment in this series, Managing Setbacks, is equal parts self-explanatory and mindset statement about what it means not just to get by, but to create a successful environment for yourself and others. We’re all going to be challenged and struggle along the way. How we stay strong will go a long way towards determining our outcomes. Enjoy!

“Great difficulties may be surmounted by patience and perseverance.” -Abigail Adams

One of the four noble truths of Buddhism has been paraphrased as “Life is suffering.” That sounds like a terribly negative statement, but in full context of its relevance to the power of acceptance, it is quite the opposite. 

That view can be harnessed for great positive effect when we move forward with the premise that life, and the work it demands, is hard. Once we accept that things are going to go wrong, that we are going to struggle, that there will be challenges to our existence, our perspective is shaped by how we respond productively. 

In short, what challenge we will face is hard to predict. That we’ll face some turmoil, however, is a safe bet.

Consider why we as educators place so much emphasis on assessments, and we can better understand the value of being tested. When situations demand your patience and perseverance, they also give you a chance to demonstrate your strength to yourself and others. 

Regardless of our position, there will be those “this is going to be really hard” situations. Instead of responding with fear or stasis, maybe our next thought should be “got it — let’s go.” 

Just as we want our students to recognize how struggle builds strength, we also can embrace that. Think about what weightlifters do when they want to get stronger. They gradually build up the amount they can lift, and don’t shy away from moving towards heavier weights. Great teachers do that with and for their students, and leaders should do that in their practice. When something goes sideways, we can distinguish ourselves by staying calm and focusing on what needs to be done to achieve results.

Leading through adversity requires that we balance urgency and deliberate actions, and demands that we conduct ourselves with an intentionality that embraces focused calm and a steady vision. Check out Churchill’s speech to the House of Commons on June 4, 1940 for an example of the power of unwavering belief. 

At that point in the war, Britain was taking a beating, and Churchill chose to channel the best of what his people were doing to help build their resolve. His calm emphasis on courage and the steadfast refusal to back down helped to inspire his people. Over 80 years later, his words still resonate.

In a conversation about struggle, it is also important to acknowledge that engaging in competitive suffering is a pointless enterprise. This social phenomenon occurs when people engage in one-upping each other about whose problems are worse. For those practitioners, kudos on your pointlessness. 

As I addressed in Invisible Backpack, the truth is that each of us feel and manage our suffering according to our own realities and experiences. If there is something that doesn’t bother me but adds considerable weight to the invisible backpack of someone else, that doesn’t make me any better or worse. Just different. And that awareness demands of me that I exercise empathy and support, and serve in my role as a leader to help others soldier through their burdens.

Leaders need to accept that they are tasked with making decisions, and that outside of the children’s show “Barney,” decisions are virtually never a clear choice between a good option and a bad one, and the outcomes are rarely unilaterally adored. To wit, when I first had to make calls on weather-related closures or delays, I entered with the assumption that everyone loves a delayed opening. 

Nope. 

Cursed with that awareness now, making those calls has become brutal as it involves incorporating the predictions of people who are not renowned for their accuracy (weather forecasters), and balancing the needs of a wide range of stakeholders (police, DPW, teachers, coaches, morning care providers, working parents, students, student drivers and more). 

On a positive note, I operate with the knowledge of an ironclad guarantee that some people will hate my decision and possibly hate me for making it. In time I’ve learned that in the absence of a right call, the key is to make the best call and run with it. 

Consider that the Chinese character for crisis is the same character used for opportunity.  One word is terribly negative, while the other smacks of optimism, yet they can represent the same overarching concept. 

Leadership in school during the COVID pandemic response certainly involved ongoing crisis management, but provided leaders the opportunity to model their ability to maintain calm in the face of an intense storm. In finding solutions to problems that popped up daily (think high-stakes Whac-a-Mole), we all needed to discover opportunities to make education possible for our students and survivable attainable for our staff. 

Many of those solutions, borne out of desperation and unprecedented events, have some applicability now, thus supporting that our response to the crisis was an opportunity to develop better practice. It does not negate the suffering, but honors the experience if we can channel the setbacks into productive growth.
Vision Statement: Stuff happens. Leaders help people manage it productively.

The second of sixteen vision statements, Invisible Backpack is in the Mindset thread and focuses on acting with the awareness that everyone is carrying a burden. Though we can’t see it, they can feel it. Furthermore, it does not matter that someone else’s struggles might seem really easy manage to you or me; effective leaders recognize that practicing genuine empathy honors the individual. In short, Bill and Ted got it right with their mantra: “Be excellent to each other.” Enjoy!

“Take a load off” -Unattributed

Each of us carries a burden. Some are obvious to the naked eye or freely revealed. Most, however, are not. Whatever weighs you down is personal, and you can choose if to share the details with others. But just as you are not obligated to do so, so too are those with whom we interact.

That person who cut you off on Route 23, or worse yet failed to wave when you let them merge onto the highway, is likely not doing so simply for the sake of being a jerk. Yes, it is possible, but it’s more likely that the offending party was otherwise distracted or preoccupied. Whatever might be consuming their attention or psychic energy is not your business. How you choose to respond, however, certainly is.

Moving to a school environment, how are your students or colleagues burdened when they enter the building? Many of our students are saddled with life issues that would incapacitate most adults, but they are experts at masking it. With varying degrees of intensity, we expect them to focus and produce in the face of personal adversity. The truth is that even if it looks like they’re with us, they might be at best halfway there.

I do not make this point to excuse students from participating actively in their learning; quite to the contrary, that engagement in educational experiences might be exactly what keeps our at-risk kids grounded and provides a safe refuge from the world outside. Here, our most effective educators are those who engage students. They read their students, whether by greeting them at the door, reading their body language, or routinely checking in.

School leaders are, of course, educators as well, and need to be able to read their staff. Just as the teachers who are present and engaged can best ascertain the weight of their students’ invisible backpacks, so too can visible and genuine administrators get a sense of their staff members’ daily status. A simple “Good morning” or “How are you?” coupled with eye contact lays the foundation for a meaningful interaction that helps people feel valued, and opens the door to other conversations that might emerge as a consequence.

As an early career teacher, I was advised that kids fundamentally want two things: to know that things will be fair and that you care about them. As a parent, I realized the same applied to my kids. As a principal and now superintendent, I’ve grown to appreciate that the same applies to the staff and families we support. 

Ask any educator what motivated them to want to join this incredibly important and fulfilling profession, and most will talk about wanting to make a difference and the inspiration of someone who made a difference for them. Ask what made those inspiring individuals special and invariably the main detail is that they cared. So simple, yet so important: they cared. How can we emulate those educators who inspired us? How can we show that we care?

A powerful starting point is to demonstrate both genuine empathy and the strength to absorb some hits without taking it personally. That parent who unloaded on you for 22 minutes? Maybe their anger isn’t entirely about you, at least one would hope. You don’t need to know what else they’re carrying, but do need to be aware that there’s likely more going on than what you know. The same applies to students, staff members, colleagues, and, quite frankly, ourselves. 

We are all saddled with something. Honoring allows us to accept that every person we encounter feels the weight of their burdens individually. Life’s pretty hard, but we can make it easier for one another. We may not be able to lighten the load, but at least we can help by not making it worse.

Vision Statement: Everybody is struggling with something; set the tone with kindness,  compassion and empathy.

A couple of years ago, I took on the challenge of writing sixteen vision statements to help guide the leadership in my district. These sixteen brief writings are essentially a handbook to convey what is needed to instill a culture that guides our stakeholders to support our vision. The writing itself is meant to be anecdotal, conversational and supportive without being self-serving or preachy. I don’t pretend to have all the answers nor the most brilliant insight, but do feel like my experiences and observations can help to shape the vision that will help us provide world-class experiences to our students, staff, families, selves, and community. This first entry is from the Mindset thread. Enjoy!

“I got this.” -Bill Belichik, Super Bowl XLIX

The clock was ticking down in Super Bowl XLIX and the Patriots had just fallen victim to the most improbable catch in Super Bowl history, or at least since the last two most improbable Super Bowl catches ever made against New England. The Seahawks had proceeded to run the ball to the Patriots one yard line, and had the most lethal short yardage running back in the NFL ready to score the seemingly inevitable touchdown to put Seattle back in the lead with less than a minute to go in the game, and the season. 

If the Patriots were to have any hope to mount a drive after the touchdown that Marshawn Lynch was about to score, they would need time, which was ticking away. Everyone in the building knew the Patriots head coach was going to call timeout, including his assistants who were desperately imploring him to do so, and the Seahawks head coach, Pete Carroll, who was waiting for it. 

As the noise rose both around him and in his headset, Belichick stared impassively across the field at Carroll. He knew Carroll had expected the timeout, He also detected that Carroll had not prepared with a play yet. Belichick saw panic, and conveyed calm. His three words were a clear expression of leadership:

“I got this.”

Whether he believed his own words, or if anyone else did for that matter, is immaterial. He set the tone, and when Carroll sent in his offensive personnel for the play he eventually called, Belichick’s defensive assistants sent in a package to match it. 

That the Patriots had never employed this defensive alignment in any game that year did not matter. They were ready. As the defensive players lined up, veteran cornerback Brandon Browner said to rookie Malcolm Butler, “You know what to do here, right?” Butler nodded his assent. After having been beaten badly by this formation in practice earlier in the week, Butler had learned from his mistakes and was now prepared to perform.

That’s a long preamble for a pretty simple point, but it conveys the importance of certainty in leadership and why it is critical to radiate calm. On any given day, a school building and district can feel like controlled chaos. It is really easy to get pulled into the swirling vortex of panic. My advice? Don’t.

Preparation for difficult situations begins long before those moments or events arise. The calm and effective leader applies an understanding that it’s not necessarily what you do to prepare, but how you do it. For example, the early spring  lockdown drill you run in an elementary school lunchroom will likely not go well. Interestingly, the greater issue is often with the older kids, who are feeling bigger than they actually are later in the year (yes, they’re ten). Some might succumb to chatter or silliness while they are supposed to remain silent in the safe area. 

Knowing the significance of the drill, and perhaps having a member of the police department present to observe the drill, your inclination could be to respond with a fury unseen in previous human existence. Again, my advice? Don’t.

There are myriad reasons not to lose your cool, the first of which is that you don’t ever want your students or staff, or anyone for that matter, to feel like they can control your emotional tenor. You’re in charge of you. While the raging lunatic response has its merits,  its attributes tend to diminish in time. 

As with anything, it is important to consider the desired outcomes and to focus on achieving them. The point of a drill is to ensure that everyone involved can learn from the experience and get better. Beyond that, it is also important to convey to the students that they did not live up to your expectations. 

A blanket harangue directed at all of them is counterproductive as it is unlikely that every student there misbehaved; however, a measured explanation of how they have disappointed you, and how you expect them to work together to be nearly flawless should help produce the desired outcome in the next drill, which should be conducted within the next few minutes. If they run the drill correctly on take 2, they will have provided evidence of learning how to run a drill and respect for your presence. They will have also learned, whether they realize it, that you are unflappable when things go wrong.

That last clause, “when things go wrong,” is important to an educational leader’s mindset. Most educators will tell you that things only get messed up on days ending in -y. Furthermore, Robert Burns was right that your plans will always go awry; how you respond will dictate your long-term success. And if you are a true leader, you must by definition have followers, and they will follow your lead in a culture of calm.

If you are human, you will feel the turmoil and distress when the controlled chaos gets unhinged. It stinks and it’s hard to manage. But consider who is depending on you to radiate certainty and act like you’re confident. Even if you’re stretching the limits of credibility, tell yourself “I’ve got this.” Let your words and body language convey that message of calm. I’ve got this.

To complete the story of Super Bowl XLIX, the Seahawks ran the exact play for which the Patriots had prepared. Butler did not panic; instead, he applied the lessons from practice. The undrafted rookie from Alabama State jumped the route and intercepted the pass, thus sealing a Patriots Super Bowl win. Do the Patriots win if their coach panicked? Probably not. They were prepared and poised, and therefore performed to the best of their potential.

Vision Statement: People read us and depend on us to keep it together.