The second of sixteen vision statements, Invisible Backpack is in the Mindset thread and focuses on acting with the awareness that everyone is carrying a burden. Though we can’t see it, they can feel it. Furthermore, it does not matter that someone else’s struggles might seem really easy manage to you or me; effective leaders recognize that practicing genuine empathy honors the individual. In short, Bill and Ted got it right with their mantra: “Be excellent to each other.” Enjoy!

“Take a load off” -Unattributed

Each of us carries a burden. Some are obvious to the naked eye or freely revealed. Most, however, are not. Whatever weighs you down is personal, and you can choose if to share the details with others. But just as you are not obligated to do so, so too are those with whom we interact.

That person who cut you off on Route 23, or worse yet failed to wave when you let them merge onto the highway, is likely not doing so simply for the sake of being a jerk. Yes, it is possible, but it’s more likely that the offending party was otherwise distracted or preoccupied. Whatever might be consuming their attention or psychic energy is not your business. How you choose to respond, however, certainly is.

Moving to a school environment, how are your students or colleagues burdened when they enter the building? Many of our students are saddled with life issues that would incapacitate most adults, but they are experts at masking it. With varying degrees of intensity, we expect them to focus and produce in the face of personal adversity. The truth is that even if it looks like they’re with us, they might be at best halfway there.

I do not make this point to excuse students from participating actively in their learning; quite to the contrary, that engagement in educational experiences might be exactly what keeps our at-risk kids grounded and provides a safe refuge from the world outside. Here, our most effective educators are those who engage students. They read their students, whether by greeting them at the door, reading their body language, or routinely checking in.

School leaders are, of course, educators as well, and need to be able to read their staff. Just as the teachers who are present and engaged can best ascertain the weight of their students’ invisible backpacks, so too can visible and genuine administrators get a sense of their staff members’ daily status. A simple “Good morning” or “How are you?” coupled with eye contact lays the foundation for a meaningful interaction that helps people feel valued, and opens the door to other conversations that might emerge as a consequence.

As an early career teacher, I was advised that kids fundamentally want two things: to know that things will be fair and that you care about them. As a parent, I realized the same applied to my kids. As a principal and now superintendent, I’ve grown to appreciate that the same applies to the staff and families we support. 

Ask any educator what motivated them to want to join this incredibly important and fulfilling profession, and most will talk about wanting to make a difference and the inspiration of someone who made a difference for them. Ask what made those inspiring individuals special and invariably the main detail is that they cared. So simple, yet so important: they cared. How can we emulate those educators who inspired us? How can we show that we care?

A powerful starting point is to demonstrate both genuine empathy and the strength to absorb some hits without taking it personally. That parent who unloaded on you for 22 minutes? Maybe their anger isn’t entirely about you, at least one would hope. You don’t need to know what else they’re carrying, but do need to be aware that there’s likely more going on than what you know. The same applies to students, staff members, colleagues, and, quite frankly, ourselves. 

We are all saddled with something. Honoring allows us to accept that every person we encounter feels the weight of their burdens individually. Life’s pretty hard, but we can make it easier for one another. We may not be able to lighten the load, but at least we can help by not making it worse.

Vision Statement: Everybody is struggling with something; set the tone with kindness,  compassion and empathy.