This 4th entry in the Leadership thread, Presence, addresses a social concern (phone distraction) that has made its way into the workplace. As with any apparent negative, the temptation of the distraction (tuning out real life) can be spun into a positive (assert your focus by locking into the moment). As an author’s note, this entry underwent a significant revision after I read an article that asserted that flowers are more beautiful because their bloom does not last. Enjoy!

“Wherever you are, be there.” – Attributed to many

We live in the age of distraction. While life has always been full of distractions, we now have them condensed into a handheld device that grants access to just about everything you can imagine. It’s easy to be seduced to scroll, search or send, and essentially escape the moment.

And therein lies a problem. No moment lasts forever. Every experience is fleeting and has potential, and that potential doesn’t wait.

Most of our experiences are destined to be ordinary. Realistically, everything we do can’t be memorable, but all those fleeting moments could lead to something, whether a new awareness, something strikingly beautiful, or just pretty cool. So why lose that to checking your phone (unless you’re reading one of my posts, then it’s a good idea).

It is not uncommon to have your phone out in a meeting, and social graces have evolved to the point at which that is frequently considered acceptable. Leaders, and I suspect all of us, feel like they’re on call perpetually, so the concession to having phones out makes sense. 

The challenge, however, in a meeting, over a meal or during a conversation is to resist the temptation to check out the likes on your social media post, or the injury updates for your fantasy football team, or to send a humorous meme to someone who probably has also checked out. The pull of all those distractions is strong, but in this context, true leaders define themselves as being present in the moment.

In full disclosure, I cannot multitask and don’t bother trying to do so. There are loads of arguments on the topic of multitasking, but all research seems to agree on one point: we can only truly concentrate on one thing at a time. 

Yes, we can manage several things simultaneously, some to a better extent than others (school secretaries are generally the most apt, while this author could conceivably be the most inept), but that level of focus becomes compromised as more things pull from our attention. When on a call or in a meeting, or any situation in which there is an expectation to be responsive, leaders should determine whether they are simply there or truly present. 

It’s not hard to detect those who have checked out as they will need things repeated or clarified, miss conversational cues, fail to follow up on topics addressed in the meeting or on the call, or smirk while looking at their own crotch (never a good look). Considering that educational leaders are constantly modeling what we want from our staff and students, none of those outcomes should be viewed in a positive light.

We have experienced some variation of this scenario: you’re meeting with a staff member in your office, the phone rings, you both stop for a moment and look at each other. What do you do? There’s not a hard-and-fast correct answer, but in that moment, you can define your level of presence by telling the staff member that the call can wait. 

Of course if someone from the office staff tells you it’s urgent (we apply the “bleeding or burning rule” – if someone is bleeding or something is burning, interrupt), that changes things. Otherwise, you gain a lot of currency by reinforcing to that other person that they are the most important person in your professional world, at least for that moment.

Overall, the image we convey with our presence will determine how our leadership is received. Much of that demands that we lead with empathy and embrace contradictions (appearing strong yet vulnerable, juggling the competing needs to be firm and flexible). But to engender real followership, we need to demonstrate that we are genuine and that wherever we are, we are truly there with the people who count on us to be exceptional.
Vision Statement: Be present.